Sunday, September 4, 2011
EVERYBODY, ANYBODY, SOMEBODY AND NOBODY WATCH DR. FAUCHMOUTHY AND
DR. KNOWMUCHMORETHAN THANYOUKNOW DEBATEE
Everybody, Somebody, Anybody and Nobody were good friends who live together. They shared a lot of great experiences, not such great experiences. terrible experiences etc.
One day they were sitting in their living room with nothing to do. That was a terrible experience.
Everybody said, “ What should we do? We can’t just sit around doing nothing.”
Nobody replied, “ What’s wrong with doing nothing. Nothing is wrong with doing nothing. And actually, when you think about it, doing nothing is doing something because everything you do is
something.
“But doing nothing is boring,” Anybody chimed in. What should we do?
Then Somebody had an idea… “I know, lets become detectives. we’re smart.”
Nobody thought it was a terrific idea, and so did Everybody. Anybody liked the idea too and said,
“if a person is as smart as we are, that person can surely be a detective.”
Somebody said, “ let’s make a sign which they did. It said:
Detectives for Hire, Inquire Within, or send an email to:
every.some.any.no@gmail.com
Anybody, Somebody, Everybody and Nobody also advertised in the newspaper. They sent out emails. They even advertised on television which was quite expensive, but worth it,
because they got their first client: the United States government.
Their task was to discover how cocaine got into the White House. So off they went toWashington DC. They were allowed to enter the White House after being searched, a 20 second task. They were escorted to the West Wing where they heard the cocaine was found.
They met with a secret Service agent who they were to interview.
Somebody: Hello, I am somebody and I…
Agent 1. interrupted… I know you are Somebody, so am I. Everybody is somebody you know.
Somebody: WRONG! Everybody is standing behind me and I am Somebody. But never mind that, we are here on assignment so we have to ask some questions.
Agent 1: I have to tell you that I am a Secret Service Agent and we keep secrets.
Somebody: Well, we have to make our inquiries so I need to ask some questions.
First of all, what is your name?
Agent 1: it’s a secret, but you may call me Bud.
Somebody: Is Bud your name?
Agent 1: Certainly not, my name is a secret.
Somebody: OK, I’ll call you Bud.
Now Bud, were you the one who found the cocaine?
Bud: I don't recall. And If I did recall, I can't tell you.That’s a secret.
Somebody: OK, How many bags of cocaine were found? We heard that you found one bag, then we heard you found two bags, or three bags. Which is it.
Bud: That's a secret, But Any of the above numbers will do.
Somebody: Did you find the bag or bags here in the West Wing? We heard that it was originally found in an area where tourists go. Then the story changed and it was the west wing.
Or, was it found in the oval office?
Bud; Any of the above places will do.
Somebody: Did you look at the videos provided by the cameras here?
Bud: I don’t recall. And If I did recall, I couldn’t tell you because its a secret.
Somebody: Did the Secret Service do an investigation at all?
Bud; Perhaps, and if we did , either found out how the cocaine got here or we didn’t.
Somebody: Well which is it? You figured it out or not?
Bud; I don’t recall, but Either one will do.
Everybody: Excuse me, I have a question. Bud, if you did indeed do an investigation who was leading the investigation into this
cocaine matter… Was it you or another agent?
Bud: I don’t recall but Either one will do.
Anybody: Bud, we were hired by the United States government to figure
out how the cocaine got into the White House. I assume, therefore , that you didn’t figure it out because if you did, why would the government hire us and spend the money to pay us?
Bud: The US government enjoys spending money on necessary things, unnecessary things and everything else. It is sort of a
governmental hobby.
And , anyway, who in the government hired you?
Somebody; the Department of Agriculture, fertilizer division.
Bud: That’s bullshit. They don’t hire Anybody.
Anybody: I know that, they never asked me to work for them.
Somebody:Since we are not getting anywhere with you, Bud,
Is there another person we can speak with?
Bud: The only ones you may speak with are Secret Service agents and we can’t tell you anything because we keep secrets.. I told you that.
Somebody looked at Everybody, Anybody, and Nobody. He said, “ we are getting nowhere with this investigation.
Nobody had an idea:
Nobody:: May we speak with the Press secretary, — and what is the press secretary’s name?
Bud: NO.. And if you did speak with it,( we can't specify gender) , it will always tell you that it will find out and circle back to you, which it never does. I am not permitted to give you it's name. But she goes on
television so you can find out that way.
Somebody: May we speak with the President then?
Bud: He’s not here, he is on extended vacation
Somebody: Where is he?
Bud; That’s a secret.
Anybody: But it is only Wednesday. Shouldn't he be here because it is the
middle of the week?
Bud: The President always likes to get an early start.
Nobody: Where did the president go?
Bud: Thats a secret.
Everybody: Bud, is this some sort of coverup?
Bud: I don’t recall. And if I did recall, I couldn’t tell you because its a secret.
Everybody, Nobody, Anybody and Somebody were totally frustrated. They knew even less now than when they came in because they were totally confused.
Somebody: Perhaps we should give up being detectives and try something else.
How about we go running after butterflies. Do you think the government will pay us to do that?
Everybody: Absolutely, they’ll add it to the bill about Impeaching the
homeland security secretary.
Everybody liked the idea that Somebody suggested. . Anybody did too. Nobody was totally enthusiastic. So off they
ran to to the nearest meadow. They would bill the government later.
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